The Jerk Theory

The three day weekend/v-day weekend was pretty awesome. I went on three dates total, and had a lot of fun stuff go down in between. But that's not all that important I suppose. But then again neither is anything on this blog, so I guess what I mean is that it is not what is currently on my mind. This is. So today during my hour break I was sitting with the usual lady friends up on the second floor of the Wilk. (For the record, this rant is not directed towards them, nor any of the girls I call my friend) In the terrace down below there was a promotional going on for an upcoming workshop. The promotion consisted of a group of guys in a jello eating contest, but first they had to tell a story of being on a date with a "jerk." And I use that term very lightly, let me explain. So the workshop is being sponsored by the Women's Studies and the seminar is titled "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk." When the girl who is giving the seminar asked the guys to tell a story she said, "All right guys tell everyone a story of when you went on a date with, let's not say jerk, but a less than nice girl." After each guy tells the story and the jello eating competition finished the winner got a jar with cookie ingredients inside he could assemble. Then she got back on the mic and asked for girls to come up and "share a story of dating a jerk. Whoever has the best story gets this jar to make cookies with." Do the girls have to smash their face into a plate of jello? No. I am very proud of the women eating lunch in the Wilk today because only one would get up and tell a story, the other three stories came from staff that were helping out the girl in charge. So then she gives her workshop another plug and walks away. So basically this workshop is just another very bitter girl spouting about how all men are the enemy. The title alone pisses me off. "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk" if a girl cannot stop herself from falling in love with a guy that doesn't treat her right then her ability to decide other more important things should be forfeit. For example: voting. Feminists always piss me off. I'm all for equal treatment, but enough is enough. You got your rights, now shut up. Civil Rights, Women's Rights, Affirmative Action, all of these things have gone too far. So far, that now if I say a single thing against someone who is not white or male, then I am a sexist racist ignorant jerk. Look in the mirror idiots. To reference a poor review of Inglourious Basterds, the writer takes note of how Tarantino had turned the Jews into Nazis. The same thing applies here, yes slavery was bad, yes over powering males were bad, BUT IT IS OVER. Get over it! A man can hate someone who is black without being racist, he can treat a woman as an equal without being sexist. And another thing, feminists will fight like hell the second they feel they are being treated unequally, but if the man should fail to be chivalrous or polite in any way well watch out again. I will always open the door for a girl and all that respectful stuff because it is what is right, but for Pete's sake, Do Not Demand Equal Treatment That You Don't Want. If it was equal then businesses would not be required by law to hire X amount of female employees. If it was equal then women would be in the running with the men, and it would come down to a person's skills and not their race or gender. I am respectful to women and if I see a guy treating a girl poorly, I set him straight. Someone who beats up on any woman cannot call himself a man, but really feminists, get over yourselves!
Hopefully I haven't offended any women, because I did not intend to, but yall have offended me.
And now a shout out to my main man David's older bro,
"The Jerk Theory":
What in the world was I thinking
when I went and
bought you those flowers and candies
I was thinking that every girl wants a nice guy
Someone she can trust but I guess I was not right
What is wrong with me?
Or do I have to be,
a jerk so you'll want me?
A jerk so we can be...
Together happily
and it's time I'll miss use you
if you ask me nice then I'll even abuse you
frequently I'll tell you your fat and annoying
frequently I'll tell you I don't want a girlfriend
what is wrong with me?
Or do I have to be
a jerk so you'll want me?
a jerk so we can be
together happily
and I won't ever call you
and I will cheat on you whenever I want to
after that I'll tell you I'm sorry forgive me
then I don't know why but you'll want to be with me
what is wrong with you?
It's sad but it is true
You're forcing us to play
the same old stupid game
Cause you want what you can't have
so I have to treat you bad
I don't mean to be so mean
but your forcing me to be
a jerk so you'll want me
etc etc
And then you'll leave me and you'll find a man
He'll love you so much he'll ask for your hand
then I'll come along and treat you like you're trash
I don't know why but you'll still want me back
Oh what is wrong with you?
etc etc

The Life and Times of an Aspiring Spider

Well, this past weekend was pretty good.
Friday Afternoon: My group in theater picked which play to produce. Not mine, but I am ok with that because the educated people in my group gave it a vote, and my T.A. gave it a shout out recommending that people read it because it was good. That is enough recognition and praise for me. The play we did pick was the one I wanted though, so I am happy. It is essentially a continuation of A Farewell to Arms. I also got the part I really wanted. I play the spider after whom the play is named: "The Eency Weency Spider." I am a figment of the main characters imagination that is representative of him and his state of earthly detachment, not to mention his possible madness. So I am very happy about that. I have been doing a ton of spider research and watching footage of them to try and come up with a really abstract and unique way to move around the stage. Should be pretty cool.
Friday night: Friday night I was at some friends' apartment on my own working. After an hour or two Brittany came home and we ended up chilling on the couch while I introduced her to the tv show How I Met Your Mother. That was pretty cool. Then we went to another apartment and watched the classic Singin in the Rain. I then proceeded to do laundry at two in the morning, but it was entertaining because a party broke out at the laundromat.
Saturday: I played the part of the "Gay Best Friend" in helping the girls dress shop for a dance that was going on that night. This basically consisted of me trashing various dresses they looked at, if Hollywood has taught me anything it's that that is what gays do.
Saturday Night: I went and saw the play Tartuffe on campus. It was AMAZING! It was Tartuffe meets Cirque de Sole meets Tim Burton. It was extremely well done. And one of the actresses was absolutely gorgeous. After that I went to the previously mentioned dance looking like a stud. So it was a big surprise to my friends because they did not think I was going. It was pretty fun. After the dance I went to my friend Wes's apartment and we chilled there till about 2. Then we went over the the girls' apartment and stole their oven door using a key I had previously stolen. Regrettably the next day Wesley cracked under their interrogation and gave us up.
Sunday: Church, nap, super bowl, studying, bed.
The End.

Who's Ready to Get Lost?

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AWIGGITY WHAAAA???

Anywho, so Lost was pretty legit. It definately raised some questions. But it was also extremely cool to see all the different things that would have happened had the plane not crashed. All sorts of crazy stuff going on! I was very happy to see the reintroduction of Claire and Charley, they were always my favorites. Hopefully now we can figure out what the crap happened to Claire when she just wondered off into the woods and was seen hanging out with Jack's "dead" dad. So me and my roommate Owen (the guy in the single bedroom) went over to Cody's (my sister's boyfriend) apartment and watched the season premiere with them. I bought some snacks and had the brilliant idea to make the Root Beers into "Leflear's Favorite Dharma Brand." Yeah pretty awesome I know.