A Risky Situation

The time is currently 4:53 am. 10 or so minutes ago we finished a game of Risk. This game we started at roughly 12:20. We being myself my roommates Drew and Owen, and buddy Wesley Hyatt. So here's what went down. We started playing and then after a while we all hit the funny sleep deprived where you aren't actually tired. Then came the quiet vaguely depressed stage. Then a few more funny cycles. I killed Wesley, then after a while Drew quit so me and Owen finished off his pieces. Me and Owen then battled it out, and he one. I made my last stand in Australia, and fought down to the last man. Taking a very large number of his men down with me. At one point everyone had control of Australia. Wesley started out as the strongest with Asia, but we stopped that. Then there was a crazy combination of various people taking several continents and loosing them all within a few turns. Well anyway, I can easily say that I am done with Risk for probably the remainder of the semester.

Do Not Question Me

Well as I sit here in this computer lab struggling to complete a very taxing assignment (outline the first discussion for mission prep) I can't help but let my mind wander. And in my mind's wanderings I have come up with the following conclusion, people should not question my opinion of others. Now then let me explain. So in the past I had started coming in contact with a young man that I did not care for. I down right did not like him at all. This being said the girls who all liked him did not understand why not. All I could say was that to me he seemed like a tool, he rubbed me the wrong way, and any other lame excuses you can think of I probably used. But when it boiled down to it, I just did not like this guy one bit. I didn't know why, I just knew how I felt about him. Well, when all the cards are down guess who turns out to be a scum bag? Sacks of crap beware, turns out I can see you for what you are! So, next time I have a hunch against some one's character, do not question it. Just know that I have awesome powers of perception. I'm like Batman, silently watching over Gotham, or in this case Wyview Park. Regardless of where the guarding is taking place, I look great in spandex and a cape.

The Play I Wrote for Intro to Theater

Ok guys, if I see this on broadway ten years from now I will be very annoyed.

Characters: Jude
Jude’s Thoughts/Mind
Eleanor “Lenny”
Sister Prudence
Two Anonymous Students

Jude: Main character of the play. Average student, quiet. Has crush on Lenny but hasn’t told her. Comes from a slightly troubled home. Parents that argue a lot. He wears school uniform casually: loose tie, rolled sleeves, etc. Although he is quiet he wears his hair messy.

Jude’s Inner Voice: The voice of Jude’s thoughts. Extremely sarcastic and witty. Very opposite of how Jude is. Very outspoken, makes himself heard. Gets Jude into a lot of trouble.

Eleanor “Lenny”: Unconventional. Unlike the other characters she is not catholic, just going to catholic school to appease her father. Because of this all of her male catholic classmates give her a lot of attention, and she finds this annoying. To them she is this crazy wild adventure waiting to happen. She is very sarcastic.


Sister Prudence: A nun, obviously. She is the very strict teacher. In her mid fifties. She recently had a cast taken off of her leg from when some younger students tripped her, as a result she walks with a slight limp and hates all of her students.



Setting: Very straight/neatly lined up rows of desks. An elderly nun sits behind a desk at the front of the room grading papers. A miniature statue of the Virgin Mary sits on top of a stack of already graded papers. She is muttering to herself under her breath, looking annoyed she crosses herself and then scribbles another “F”. There is a cross hung on the wall. The prevalent sound is that of a ticking clock and the scribbling of pens as uniformed students take a test.

Sister Prudence: (Standing up and addressing the class gives an angry sigh and in an Irish accent): Did any of you study for the last test?! Lord help me! I feel as though I am teaching myself! I can count on one hand how many of you passed the last test!

Lenny: Well, maybe our grades are reflective of how well we were taught…

Sister Prudence: That is quite enough Eleanor!

Lenny: It’s Lenny!

Sister Prudence: Don’t think that just because your father is one of our Academies greatest contributors that you will receive special treatment, ELEANOR. And I will be damned before I take sass from a protestant brat!!

(The rest of the class crosses themselves, Lenny glares at Sister Prudence)

Jude’s Thoughts: What an old hag!

(Class gasps)

Sister Prudence: Who said that?!

(Silence)

Sister Prudence: (Grabs ruler and waves it menacingly) Who’s the one with the smart tongue?!

(Silence)

Sister Prudence: Was it you Jude!

Jude: No ma’am.

Sister Prudence: Very well, get back to your tests.

(She sits down at her desk)

Jude’s Thoughts: (Blows a raspberry)

Sister Prudence: (Standing up abruptly) Five points off of everyone’s test!

(Uproar from the class)

Sister Prudence: Should I make it ten?!

(Instant Silence)

Sister Prudence: I thought not. (Sits back down)

(Class resumes test)

Jude’s Thoughts: (very authoritative voice) “In what year was the Declaration of Independence signed? Hmmmmm…..1776. Yeah, that’s it.

Sister Prudence: Jude! Quiet yourself!

Jude: Yes ma’am, sorry.

Jude’s Thoughts: *Ahem! In what year did America triumph over the British?...1787!

Sister Prudence: That is quite enough Jude!

Jude: What?

Sister Prudence: Don’t play stupid with ME young man! You stay here for lunch!

Jude: But I-

(Bell rings)

Sister Prudence: Allright class, go to lunch. You can finish your tests afterwards….Not you Jude! Sit back down!

(Sister Prudence and the other students leave the room)

(Jude sighs)

Jude’s Thoughts: Absolutely pathetic.

Jude: What?? (looking around)

Jude’s Thoughts: Back there, what the heck happened?! You let that old Mick walk all over you, NOnononononononono! Cut that out! (Jude crossing himself)

Jude: Who are you?

Jude’s Thoughts: I want you to think about it reeeeaaaaal hard.

Jude: ………. (look of realization and shock)

Jude’s Thoughts: BINGO! We have a winner!

Jude: So what, have I snapped?

Jude’s Thoughts: No…well, not yet at least. I just got tired of watching you screw up our life. I’m here to fix a few things.

Jude: Like what?

Jude’s Thoughts: Well...I don’t have the patience to do a complete overhaul on our sad little life, so I’m just focusing my efforts on hooking us up with her.

Jude: With who?

Jude’s Thoughts: (imitating Sister Prudence’s accent) Don’t play stupid young man! (resumes former voice) You know who I mean.

Jude: I don’t like her.

Jude’s Thoughts: Don’t lie, you are head over heels in love with Eleanor!

Jude: Lenny.

Jude’s Thoughts: Ha! Caught you!

Jude: Dangit!

Jude’s Thoughts: (Laughing) Well then, now that you are done kidding ourselves, let’s get us hooked up.

Jude: And how exactly do we go about doing that?

(Sister Prudence enters dragging Lenny by the ear)

Lenny: Ow ow ow ow! Quit it! Ow! Ow!

Jude’s Thoughts: Jackpot.

Sister Prudence: Lunch is a privilege Eleanor! You stay in here until you learn that!

(Sister Prudence leaves)

Jude:
Lenny: It’s Lenny!
Jude’s Thoughts:

Lenny: Uurgh! She is such a –

Jude’s Thoughts: Easy now…

Lenny: What’s it to you?

Jude: Nothing.

Lenny: Then keep it to yourself.

Jude: Sorry.

Jude’s Thoughts: So what did you do?

Jude: (Whispered) Shut up!

Lenny: What?

Jude: Huh? Oh, nothing. I was just uh…wondering what you did to tick off Sister Prudence.

Jude’s Thoughts: (Whispered) Atta boy.

Lenny: I barely even did anything, my phone went off and my ringtone happens to be something with a good beat, it was hilarious, I thought the nuns were going to faint. You’d think they’d never heard Zeplin before.

Jude’s Thoughts: (Laughing)

Lenny: Speaking of which, what kind of music do you like?

Jude: Umm…Relian-

Jude’s Thoughts: ACDC.

Lenny: Oh man I love ACDC! How about the Stones?

Jude: Uh, yeah. I like them and uh-

Jude’s Thoughts: Black Sabbath.

(Lenny turns to rummage through her bag)

Jude: (Whispered) What are you doing??

Jude’s Thoughts: Dude! Look at her notebook, she loves classic rock!

(Lenny’s notebook is covered with band logos)

Lenny: (emerging from her bag) If you like those you’ll love this! (Hands Jude a cd)

Jude: Thanks.

Jude’s Thoughts: (Whispered) Allright that’s it, let’s move this along. (Normal voice) You’re really pretty.

Lenny:
Jude: What?

Jude: I mean uh, Lenny, I think you’re really pretty.

Lenny (Blushing) Well…thanks.

Jude: No, I mean it. (Smiles)

Lenny: (Smiles) You know what? You’re the first guy to say that, that I actually believe.

Jude: Really?

Lenny: Yeah, all the guys in this school just see me as this…this easy “heathen” girl.

Jude: I don’t think you’re a heathen.

Lenny: (Laughing) Thanks.

Jude’s Thoughts: Do you want to go out some time?

(Jude just about chokes)

Lenny: I’d love to.

Jude: Really??

Lenny: Of course. (Lenny pulls a pen out of her bag and writes her number on Jude’s hand) Give me a call later.

Jude: Yeah. Definitely!

(Lenny leans in and kisses Jude on the cheek, at this moment Sister Prudence enters the room.)

Sister Prudence: WHAT IS GOING ON?!

(Jude and Lenny quickly separate.)

Sister Prudence: Jude! March yourself up to Father MacKenzie’s office right now!!

Jude: (Smiling enthusiastically) Yes ma’am!

(Jude pauses in front of Prudence at the door)

Sister Prudence: Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?!

Jude: Oh yeah…(looks back at Lenny and winks) and it was worth it.

Jude’s Thoughts: ATTA BOY!!!

Third Try's the Charm

My roommate Drew and I have decided to go on a ton of dates this semester, and have hit the ground running. Last night was my third of the semester. But, it was almost the date that was not, allow me to explain:
So, the plan was to have a big five couple game night at our apartment last night. Easy enough yeah? Well I did not know who I would ask and in the end it became decided that I would ask out this very attractive girl in my lady friends' ward. I don't know her, and she does not know me so it was a bit awkward calling her and asking her out. But I manned up and did and she said yes. Awesome, everything is all ready right? Wrong! The next day she calls me and is extremely apologetic, but she forgot that she was going out of town and would not be back until late Monday night, thus unable to attend. But she wants a rain check date, and she'll get it, so no worries. So I go and grab the ward directory and start looking for a back up date. I decide on this girl Natalie who is pretty cool, I don't really know her all that well but hey, this is BYU and Mormon girls will say yes to a first date every time. So I call her up and ask her out, she sounds excited and says yes. OK, everything is fixed yes? No! The next day (Sunday) I don't see her at church, I then get a call from her saying she is sick and won't be able to make it. Dadgummit! OK, so Monday we have a big FHE scavenger hunt activity during the day, and Wittnee (the "mom" of my group) is in the car I go in. I am the "dad" of our group so I am sure I will get to know her over the course of the semester, plus she seems pretty cool. So after the activity I call her up and ask her out, and she sounds excited and says yes. So we're good right? Wrong! Keep in mind I asked her out a few hours before the date, pretty last minute. So the time arrives for the date to start. Me and Drew don't want to leave and get our dates yet because if people arrive there won't be anyone to let them in. So we wait and the first couple arrives, (Ethan and Sara). At this point Drew leaves to get his date and I wait for one more couple to arrive before I leave. Another couple gets there and I leave. I get to Wit's apartment and knock, her roommate answers the door. I ask if Wittnee is there and she says "No she's not here, but I'll tell her you came by," in a thick south American accent. Not there?? Whaaaaaaa? I then proceed to go back to my apartment and find everyone there (Drew and Sasha, Kim and Travis, Brad and Brittany, Ethan and Sara). They all know the troubles I had been going through with getting a date. So I walk in and they all kind of look at me funny because I'm by myself and with my face red from embarrassment I say, "She wasn't home!" Which is met with a loud chorus of Oooooooooh's and awwwwwww's and what?!'s and so on. And I tell them to wait till I call her. I get her machine, again everyone is all O's and Aw's. Already thoroughly embarrassed I go and bang on my other roommate's door (Owen) and tell him he's my date till we hear from Wit. So he reluctantly comes out and we start playing Nurts. After a few rounds I get a call from Wittnee who it turned out was at the Martin Luther King Jr. ceremony on campus that ended up running long. She was extremely sorry that it had happened and asked if she should still come over, I told her absolutely and after about ten minutes she got there and the date took off.
We played a few more rounds of Nurts, then switched to Egyptian Rat Screw, and then closed the evening playing an application Drew had on his iTouch called Truth or Dare. The date was extremely awesome and fun. Everyone had a great time. Some of the dares: Brittany had to eat a heaping spoonful of mayonnaise, Travis and Brad had to do lots of vaguely homosexual things (slow dance and such), I had to go upstairs knock on the door and profess my love to whoever answered the door, and Brad had to do the macarana for whoever answered another door. Then we finished up and we all walked our dates home. It was incredibly fun!

Star Wars George Lucas in Love

Star Wars George Lucas in Love

Consider a moment the world a rat lives in...

When you meet some people, right off the bat you don't care for them. You can't really explain it, but you do not like them. I am a pretty easy going person who is hard to offend, but some people just rub me the wrong way. Last night a lady friend was trying to figure out why I did not care for a guy that her and her roommates are friends with. I told her I just did not like him, but that was not good enough for her, so I showed her a clip of Inglourious Basterds to see if that would help:

Landa: Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Fuhrer and Goebbels' propaganda have said pretty much the same thing. But where our conclusions differ, is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider a moment, the world a rat lives in, it is a hostile world indeed? If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?
LaPadite: I suppose I would.
Landa: Has the rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel toward them?
LaPadite: Rats spread diseases, they bite people.
Landa: Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague but that was some time ago. I propose to you any disease a rat could spread a squirrel could equally carry, would you agree?
LaPadite: Oui.
Landa: Yet I assume you do not share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?
LaPadite: No.
Landa: Yet they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail they even rather look alike don't they?
LaPadite: It's an interesting thought Colonel.
Landa: How ever interesting as a thought may be it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now as I were talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?
LaPadite: Probably not.
Landa: I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them, all you know is you find them repulsive.

The girl in question did not find this to be a satisfactory answer to her inquiry. But I don't know what else to tell her. My roommate does not like him out of loyalty to me, or at least that is how it started, and I just don't care for him. I am sure he is a decent enough fellow, but I am not interested in learning so. And so that is my explanation. Maybe I am seeing through unbiased eyes...

The Post Man

Oh the power that the mailman has over us. We wait day after day for him to show up and bring us what we want or need. Take for instance my current situation, if the mailman does not shake a tail feather and deliver my eye protection than I do not get to play racquetball today, which is no bueno. Imagine if I owned no other shirts, and was shirtless I would be at the mailman's mercy waiting for him to deliver the shirt I ordered after christmas. So here's to you Mr. Mailman, may dogs be steared out of your way to present you with a clear path straight to my mail box!

The only sport you can be looking at the ball and simultaniously get hit in the back of the head with it....

Today I had my Racquetball class, it was most excellent. After a brief session with the instructor teaching the rules, we then broke off and played on the various courts. I played with this girl Kenzy, she wasn't all that good. But then again I have no room to talk in regards to that. She was fine, but I was definitely the better of the two. We played for a an hour and fifteenish until we got kicked out for not having wrist bands. We didn't need them for the class, but the class was over so we needed them then. But yes, I does love me some racquetball, it is a very fun sport. Also it somewhat fills the void that soccer has left in my heart. But this is the semester that I finally am getting back into my former physical glory. I work out Mondays and Wednesdays, have racquetball class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, run on Fridays, and play racquetball again on Saturday's with my roommate. I am going to be one studly mother's son when I get done in April.

The Time Spent at Home

Well,
Two weeks without any posts, and two weeks at home. I don't know where to really start. That being said I don't really know what to even bother saying. I spent two weeks at home with the family. I went to Oklahoma on New Years for the blessing of my brother's first. It was cool seeing his family, but it also made for a depressing New Years Eve. At midnight me and my brother were playing Wii sports, we looked at the clock and said "Oh look, it's midnight." Then we went back to playing. Christmas was most enjoyable, family time and whatnot. Tomorrow morning I fly back up to Provo for one last semester before my life gets put on hold for two years. Home was not a happy place earlier tonight when my grades came in, but that'll get fixed. Quite honestly I really don't have anything to say right now. Here's to a new year and a new semester of school and classes.